Dealing with Mental Health (Anxiety, Panic attacks & OCD)

Hi Guys...

Before I share this post with you, this post is a very personal & upsetting subject for me to write about but I'm hoping if anyone is reading this i may help you in some way or you may what to support someone who is suffering themselves.

Just remember EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT on how mental illness affect them.

I don't want anyone thinking this, as some people do, because of other bloggers sharing their experience "aw here's another post about mental health, they probably don't have any problems and just want attention" No way, to fake something like this, that would actually be such a terrible thing to do and not something you should be proud of, Its always hard for a person to say their daily life struggles.

"I feel like someone will never know what it feel like until they experience it themselves."

Mental Illness is not something that should be dismissed and laughed at, its just thought as a physical illness even though you wont able to see it, its stuck in our heads "all the time"

"Never Judge"

You may think somebody has a problem free, happy life but until you truly know them & know the things they've actually been through.

Ive suffered with Anxiety, Panic attacks & OCD since the age of 12 (8 years!) 

Here's a little bit of information "took of Google" on my mental illnesses ~

Anxiety is the feeling of fear or panic. Most people feel anxious, panicky or fearful about situations in life, such as money problems or exams but often once the difficult situation is over, you feel better and calmer. Sometimes the feelings of fear or anxiety continue after the difficult situation or sometimes you may feel a stronger sense of fear than other people and this is when anxiety becomes a problem and can affect you doing every day things.

A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming anxiety and fear. Your heart pounds and you can’t breathe. You may even feel like you’re dying or going crazy. Left untreated, panic attacks can lead to panic disorder and other problems. They may even cause you to withdraw from normal activities. 

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive activity. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters a person's mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that someone feels they need to carry out to try to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought.

Right lets get to my story on how it all began...

It all started at the age of 12 "when I was in year 7" my Granda "who I was really close too" suddenly passed away at the age of 63, being only 12 I didn't know how to deal with someone really close to my heart suddenly taking away from us. When I look back now I can see that I really was dealing with this in such a unnatural way, my OCD developed, I would always feel like my hands where always dirty (covered in germs) I needed to wash my hands constantly because of this, my hands began to feel so numb and so chapped, like I had been playing in snow. Being so young I didn't think much about it, it gradually came to a end but I didn't know that, it just basically wasn't on my mind.

Then at the age of 14, my Granma (once again i was so close to her) sadly passed away after suffering with breast cancer, I just completely broke down, I lost my best friend. My OCD reappeared again (so much worse) still constantly washing my hands all the time, my mind was so controlling me, if I didn't do something like touching certain thing or having not to stand on the crack on the pavement unless I was going to die. I didn't know why this was happening but I thought it was normal I just got on with doing them routines everyday. It really hit me when I was aged 16 I would notice my hands constantly shaking, I got to me so bad I couldn't stop looking at them, it was one night I was terrified on why my hands where shaking (my mind wouldn't stop) I began getting really hot, such a dry mouth, I had such a nervous stomach, my body just didn't feel right, my heart started to race (I was having a panic attack) I couldn't stop shaking (I was in tears) "my Mam rang an ambulance" All I was thinking "I'm gonna die, I don't wanna die" my heart started to calm down when I got to the hospital, got checked over, blood pressure, blood taking, I was still so scared, I wasn't myself for the next few weeks I just had the panic attack on my mind, thinking it was gonna happening again. After them few weeks I got back to my normal self (that what I thought) doing my OCD routine again.

Age 18 (end of 2013) my Mam, my boyfriend & I where in a little car crash (nothing serious, plus not our fault) we where shook up, my OCD had me thinking for several weeks I had neck injuries from the crash, it happened again a panic attack hit me.

From then I wasn't myself, Anxiety followed I would constantly have anxiety symptoms here and there, I thought this is normal I've just got a bug which lasted to near the end of 2014 (aged 19) then suddenly all the symptoms hit me at once (I suffer with a lot of symptoms of anxiety, make sure to look them up on Google, my list could go on and on), My Mam made me go to the doctor which was the best thing in the end, I couldn't leave the house, I didn't know why. The doctor diagnosed me with anxiety,  I was prescribed medication, it helped my restlessness but that that was it, (why I'm I not feeling better I'm gonna be stuck like this forever) the doctor then mentioned  Psychotherapy which I wasn't sure about, but I had too do something I want to get better. I'm sill on doing this now I have made progress abit but still struggling with my daily life. Just remember your not alone and don't bottle it all up like I did and just keep saying "I'M FINE" does nothing just say how your feel (i know its hard too) plus there's lots of  Psychotherapies out their or other help, even if you have to try different Psychotherapy before you feel 100% comfortable with one. 

Just take your time and don't feel pressured by anyone!

(This post is just a little glimpse of my mental health not everything I deal with it)

That's all for now, All the best, I know my post might not make sense for some but I hoped it helped at least one person. "That would be amazing"

Please feel free to share!

Thanks for Reading!

Lots of Love 

Gemma
xxx